Friends

Recently, I got a very nice letter from our good friend's dad who was visiting the US and to help his son out in a cross country move to our area. I was thanked by Uncle for being a good friend to his son. Uncle, this brought to mind all the good friends I have had in my life.

My earliest memories of a friend is Radhika. These were my early teen years. She was a couple years older than me and emotionally the stronger one of us. We bonded so well. Our common love included cricket, and Linda Goodman. True, we liked the players more than the game :) But it did help us learn about the game too! We analyzed our sun signs and the cricketers', to death. The one thing I recall is her being so responsible. I was so proud of her when she met someone and stood ground with her decision to marry him. It was just like her, to take control, be responsible and confident. We were good friends much after we moved on with our different lives. They are happy memories. I learned to be self reliant from her.

Speaking about cricket brings to mind another best friend, Dinu. He was one of the budding players on the street that Radhika and I would watch and talk to. He was the quiet kind. The other cricketers included his brother Anil, and the other neighbors, Seeni, Dasa, Kumbi. I became close friends with Dinu especially. I feel that I took more than gave to this friendship, in hindsight. But he never seemed to mind. I still keep in touch with him, and he, to this day reminds me of how he was back when I first met him. Sweet, shy, quiet and 'I am here for you' kind of friend. Thank you for the good memories of a good friend, and to have shown me how to 'give' in a friendship.

My best memories of a childhood friendship are of CB. I owe her so much in my life. She had a way of describing things, of making me laugh till I cried, and of analyzing things to death. She along with her parents (who I sometimes used to feel must've been my own in some previous birth) loved me like no other family had until then. Our days in undergrad, are the best in my memory. We laughed at everything, everybody and everywhere. We made fun of every person around us, and there are times I recall, when I would be on the street, buckling down with laughter, as I held on to my book bag, when passers-by, would look at us like we had just lost it! It would be some silly thing, like mimicking a teacher from class that day, or someone on the bus who asked for a seat in a funny English (ya right, like we spoke the Queen's English!). Juvenile, maybe in hindsight, but absolutely funny at that time and place! I wanted to be like her. So happy and so confident of what she wanted in life. She was the one who convinced me to take my GREs and go to graduate school. She wanted to be a Chemist like her dad, and I wanted to be like her! A lot has happened in our lives since then but we still keep in touch. CB and her family taught me how to laugh, to have a goal and to take charge when I needed it most.

MSc gave me Nagamani, Sanjay, Mahesh and Melwin. I had never heard laughter like Nagamani's before. It was always so full of life and from deep within. We hit it off like a house on fire. The best memories include singing 'Nowhere Man' with Nagamani and CB, in the Organic Chem lab, the 3 by 5 coffees with the guys, the masala dosas on Residency Road, making fun of our Quantum Mechanics teacher, or for that matter any teacher; they were all good times. Sanjay taught me to be precise in my work, Nagamani taught me how to juggle responsibilities, Melwin taught me how to be punctual, Mahesh taught me kindness. I may not have realized then how much I needed these lessons in life, but I am glad I was there.

Grad school was the beginning of many lasting friendships. Raag was first an acquaintance, then a friend, and now my husband and rock. I owe a lot of good things that have happened to me, to this rock of mine. He has been there with me through thick and thin, and after 15 years of marriage, I can proudly say, he is my bestest friend :) I cherish the flourish of this friendship.

Grad school would never have been the same without the support of my closest friends, KRR, RK, UMR and the gang and I made sure to acknowledge it in my thesis too! With these friendships came more in the form of marriage, and job moves. The list is too loooonnnng! What all these friends have done for me and my family, I cannot quantify or put down in one blog. They long ago went from being friends, to 'extended family'. Life without them is hard to even imagine. They have been the friends indeed when we needed them the most.

School, work and life as a whole has brought me close to so many people who I consider as very good friends. And god knows I have needed them more than they, me.

So, Uncle, when you wrote to me that I was a friend indeed for a friend in need, I said to myself that I am glad I am able to do what so many friends have done for me when I was that friend in 'need'.