1. M had drawn a duck and had riddled it with circles. When I asked her if the duck was suffering from chicken pox, she looked at me and said, ‘No Amma, she got poison ivy when she was building her nest!'
2. M had to go to the bathroom. After she was done and I cleaned her, and here is what she asks me, "Now do you have to wash your hands or do I?' She actually argued her way saying she couldn't figure out why she had to when she did not get her hands dirty at all, when I said we both have to! And she is not even 4!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Why Obama?
With all the fervor surrounding the recent elections, and M, exposed to my democrat rooting, relayed this conversation from her school to me on the night before the elections.
''Amma, Dylan in my class said Mcain should be president, and I told him, 'No Obama should be president because my mom says so' :)
Day after the big news, when I told her the result she said, 'Amma, I have an idea, why can't they both share and be president' :)
Just wanted to jot it down some place....
''Amma, Dylan in my class said Mcain should be president, and I told him, 'No Obama should be president because my mom says so' :)
Day after the big news, when I told her the result she said, 'Amma, I have an idea, why can't they both share and be president' :)
Just wanted to jot it down some place....
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Holy Cow by Sarah Macdonald
I wrote this post right after I read this book, i. e. a very long time ago. I will use it as my first in a long time to publish so it will get me back into the mood for some more writing.
************************************************************************************
I will start with one of her final quotes before I begin, because it stayed with me long after I finished the book...........'When one loses the deep intimate relationship with nature then temples, mosques and churches become important'. She was quoting Jiddu Krishnamurti here.
I must say I have read so many books about India by Indians and never felt the connection I did as I listened to this book on my trips to and from work. I infact enjoyed this book more than Shantaram (by Gregory David Roberts, coincidentally another Aussie writing about his life in India)!
Sarah Macdonald is Australian by birth and an atheist. She is fascinated by the ability of Indians to co-exist peacefully in spite of their various religious practices. This book is a tribute to the many religions and cultures embraced by current day India. She writes about her travels from New Delhi to Pondicherry and from Kashmir to White Field, in a sincere quest to understand religious diversity. She meets followers of Buddhism, Jainism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Zoroastrianism, Sikhism and Sufism. She even includes in her quest other aspects of modern day India's culture, such as Rajneesh, Mata Amritaanandamayi, Sai Baba, and even Bollywood! All the while she writes with alacrity and perfect comic timing.
I wish there were more authors such as her, who can analyze real time issues, with a sense of purpose but at the same time the ability to make the reader smile the whole way. A great travelogue!
************************************************************************************
I will start with one of her final quotes before I begin, because it stayed with me long after I finished the book...........'When one loses the deep intimate relationship with nature then temples, mosques and churches become important'. She was quoting Jiddu Krishnamurti here.
I must say I have read so many books about India by Indians and never felt the connection I did as I listened to this book on my trips to and from work. I infact enjoyed this book more than Shantaram (by Gregory David Roberts, coincidentally another Aussie writing about his life in India)!
Sarah Macdonald is Australian by birth and an atheist. She is fascinated by the ability of Indians to co-exist peacefully in spite of their various religious practices. This book is a tribute to the many religions and cultures embraced by current day India. She writes about her travels from New Delhi to Pondicherry and from Kashmir to White Field, in a sincere quest to understand religious diversity. She meets followers of Buddhism, Jainism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Zoroastrianism, Sikhism and Sufism. She even includes in her quest other aspects of modern day India's culture, such as Rajneesh, Mata Amritaanandamayi, Sai Baba, and even Bollywood! All the while she writes with alacrity and perfect comic timing.
I wish there were more authors such as her, who can analyze real time issues, with a sense of purpose but at the same time the ability to make the reader smile the whole way. A great travelogue!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Critique of some books I have read recently...
I have realized that books set in India have had a pull for me for obvious reasons of my ability to connect. In the past few years I have read quite a few novels written by the Indian diaspora, mostly, the NRI (non resident Indian) kind. They include, to name a few, The Hungry Tide (Amitav Ghosh), Suitable Boy (Vikram Seth), The Namesake (Jhumpa Lahiri), Mistress, The Better man (Anita Nair), Such a Long Journey, A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry), Twentieth Wife (Indu Sundaresan), The Inheritance of Loss (Kiran Desai), The Mango Season (Amulya Malladi), No End to the Journey (Shankar Subramaniam), Q&A (Vikas Swarup), Age of Shiva (Manil Suri), Transplanted Man (Sanjay Nigam), and a few more I can't recall the names of.
When I pick up a book to read, I read the synopsis to see if I connect, see reviews and make a decision. I am sure this is common practice by most readers looking for a new genre, or author. Let me say at the offset, I did not go with anybody's recommendations per say while choosing most of these books. After having gone through a plethora of authors, I am sad to say, I have had to title this blog 'Critique....' rather than 'Review....'. Except for a few works, I was predominantly disappointed.
I hate to generalize, but most of these writers, start off well, but just don't know how to finish. True, what do I know about the art and science of writing a book, but having read different authors and styles, I can see when one is done badly. For example, in Age of Shiva, the language is good and tight, the premise and story line are set well, but the author, just loses the reader somewhere half way through the book. And by the end of it, I was actually depressed for having given it my time and patience.
When I picked up Anita Nair's Mistress, I did so after thoroughly enjoying Ladies Coupe (which btw was a great recommendation, sis!). This book, I will say, I did not even look at the back cover, and just went with my previous experience with this author. It was so Mills and Boon-ish, and R was so upset with my choice in reading after going through the synopsis. He couldn't understand my preference for such 'trash' as he called it, over his constant recommendations of titles by Georgette Heyer. Those, though par excellence in language I tell him it is too Victorian romance for me. The review that took me to, A Better Man, by the same author was 'But fans of fiction from India, who crave passage into that exotic world, will find it highly rewarding. --Ellen Williams ' And it did not :( I don't even recollect how it ended!
In Twentieth Wife, Indu Sundaresan does a fantastic job of weaving in history and detail into her fiction, but the last couple chapters seemed to have been written in a rush. After all the hard work by the author, a good closure is what it missed.
Some of the books like Transplanted Man, Inheritance of Loss, No End to the Journey, I think I will be hard on these guys, and suggest they take (more) creative writing classes!
I know I will get skewered for saying this but what the heck! I will liken this inability to finish a book well, to the Harry Potter series. JKR, had me hold on to the edge of my seat through her series till she came to the last one, and I wondered, what went through her mind as she wrote this finale. Did she just want to be done with it, because she had made it public, or was it realization after all the adrenalin rush, that it was afterall a children's book, and it should finish that way? Things fell into place in that last book as like in a Bollywood movie! Hello? What was she thinking because it was such a let down!
A quick note on some of the books I did enjoy by the Indian diaspora. I will give them due credit in a different blog. These include recommended ones like Amitav Ghosh's Hungry Tide (awesome!), Malladi's The Mango Season (thank you, Pria, for this reco), Mistry's books (thanx to Rita) and pleasant surprises like Vikas Swarup's Q&A, and Seth's Suitable Boy (just picked off the shelf from the library). I liked Namesake, but really enjoyed it more in its movie form (surely the Tabu factor). I hope these writers continue to do what they do best!
Before I forget, I want to again pay an ode to my public library, which has a phenomenal collection of South Asian authors to chose from. I get my heart's content of variety. I don't like them, I just return them with no regrets. I am reading one now by Tony D'souza (The Konkans) and it is really good so far. Unfortunately I do own a few blunders that I picked up during travel. I am debating whether to 'donate' them or just save the world (sic) and send them to a different kind of 'recycle' bin).
When I pick up a book to read, I read the synopsis to see if I connect, see reviews and make a decision. I am sure this is common practice by most readers looking for a new genre, or author. Let me say at the offset, I did not go with anybody's recommendations per say while choosing most of these books. After having gone through a plethora of authors, I am sad to say, I have had to title this blog 'Critique....' rather than 'Review....'. Except for a few works, I was predominantly disappointed.
I hate to generalize, but most of these writers, start off well, but just don't know how to finish. True, what do I know about the art and science of writing a book, but having read different authors and styles, I can see when one is done badly. For example, in Age of Shiva, the language is good and tight, the premise and story line are set well, but the author, just loses the reader somewhere half way through the book. And by the end of it, I was actually depressed for having given it my time and patience.
When I picked up Anita Nair's Mistress, I did so after thoroughly enjoying Ladies Coupe (which btw was a great recommendation, sis!). This book, I will say, I did not even look at the back cover, and just went with my previous experience with this author. It was so Mills and Boon-ish, and R was so upset with my choice in reading after going through the synopsis. He couldn't understand my preference for such 'trash' as he called it, over his constant recommendations of titles by Georgette Heyer. Those, though par excellence in language I tell him it is too Victorian romance for me. The review that took me to, A Better Man, by the same author was 'But fans of fiction from India, who crave passage into that exotic world, will find it highly rewarding. --Ellen Williams ' And it did not :( I don't even recollect how it ended!
In Twentieth Wife, Indu Sundaresan does a fantastic job of weaving in history and detail into her fiction, but the last couple chapters seemed to have been written in a rush. After all the hard work by the author, a good closure is what it missed.
Some of the books like Transplanted Man, Inheritance of Loss, No End to the Journey, I think I will be hard on these guys, and suggest they take (more) creative writing classes!
I know I will get skewered for saying this but what the heck! I will liken this inability to finish a book well, to the Harry Potter series. JKR, had me hold on to the edge of my seat through her series till she came to the last one, and I wondered, what went through her mind as she wrote this finale. Did she just want to be done with it, because she had made it public, or was it realization after all the adrenalin rush, that it was afterall a children's book, and it should finish that way? Things fell into place in that last book as like in a Bollywood movie! Hello? What was she thinking because it was such a let down!
A quick note on some of the books I did enjoy by the Indian diaspora. I will give them due credit in a different blog. These include recommended ones like Amitav Ghosh's Hungry Tide (awesome!), Malladi's The Mango Season (thank you, Pria, for this reco), Mistry's books (thanx to Rita) and pleasant surprises like Vikas Swarup's Q&A, and Seth's Suitable Boy (just picked off the shelf from the library). I liked Namesake, but really enjoyed it more in its movie form (surely the Tabu factor). I hope these writers continue to do what they do best!
Before I forget, I want to again pay an ode to my public library, which has a phenomenal collection of South Asian authors to chose from. I get my heart's content of variety. I don't like them, I just return them with no regrets. I am reading one now by Tony D'souza (The Konkans) and it is really good so far. Unfortunately I do own a few blunders that I picked up during travel. I am debating whether to 'donate' them or just save the world (sic) and send them to a different kind of 'recycle' bin).
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Some more Mana-isms
1. We were at the zoo and when we walked out to the main road, I told M that it was no longer free walking, and that she needs to hold on to my hand. I added that she can't cross the road, till I said so. The 3 year old fed on Ramayana, Krishna and Panchatantra stories, looked at the pedestrian crosswalk marks, and asked, 'I can't cross that line, Amma? Is it like my Lakshman Rekha?' :-)
2. Another Hitopadesha moment at dinner time....
In case I haven't already mentioned, M hates eating any food. So it was dinner time and I was coaxing her to finish up. Every day I have to come up with a new cause, excuse or threat for her to finish her food. This time I told her that she might have to sleep on the deck if she didn't finish and that there was a hungry fox in the woods behind us, and he would eat her up. Fresh after the monkey and crocodile story, she floors me by casually saying 'I will tell the fox, that I have left my heart inside my home, and so he cannot eat me' :-)
3. M was riding in the car with me and I had given her a bowl of peas for snacking. All of a sudden she starts to giggle and laugh. So I ask her what was so funny. She goes, I had a pea in my mouth, and just added another one. The two peas met inside my mouth and are so happy to see each other. That is what you are hearing!
4. I am telling you, imitating, making fun off folks, must be genetic. Tell M to sing the alphabet song, she goes, R-aunty (nanny's daughter) sings it as 'ABCDE -ePh-G' and I sing it ABCDEFG'. She had mehendi on her hands and she returns from school, and says, Ms. C calls it MAHANDI :) At the zoo, she corrects her Patti (grandma) to say 'ELE-phant, not ELEE-phant' Amma, says, she still doesn't get the difference!
5. We have a dead wasp at our door step for the past 3 days. M really wants to touch it, and I haven't let her saying it might still have a sting in it. We check on it every morning and have noticed that the ants are eating it away slowly, and she is fascinated by that. This morning, the wasp had moved some. I suggested maybe it was the ants doing it. But she suggested it could be the rain and then added, 'Maybe, it is Pavan', the Wind God. I smiled and said, she might be right. Then she continued, 'But he would not touch it, because the wasp could sting him'. To that, I absentmindedly said, it can't happen, as the wasp was dead. She went right for her closing argument, 'Oh then I can touch it. It won't sting me, because it is dead, right?' I was had!
2. Another Hitopadesha moment at dinner time....
In case I haven't already mentioned, M hates eating any food. So it was dinner time and I was coaxing her to finish up. Every day I have to come up with a new cause, excuse or threat for her to finish her food. This time I told her that she might have to sleep on the deck if she didn't finish and that there was a hungry fox in the woods behind us, and he would eat her up. Fresh after the monkey and crocodile story, she floors me by casually saying 'I will tell the fox, that I have left my heart inside my home, and so he cannot eat me' :-)
3. M was riding in the car with me and I had given her a bowl of peas for snacking. All of a sudden she starts to giggle and laugh. So I ask her what was so funny. She goes, I had a pea in my mouth, and just added another one. The two peas met inside my mouth and are so happy to see each other. That is what you are hearing!
4. I am telling you, imitating, making fun off folks, must be genetic. Tell M to sing the alphabet song, she goes, R-aunty (nanny's daughter) sings it as 'ABCDE -ePh-G' and I sing it ABCDEFG'. She had mehendi on her hands and she returns from school, and says, Ms. C calls it MAHANDI :) At the zoo, she corrects her Patti (grandma) to say 'ELE-phant, not ELEE-phant' Amma, says, she still doesn't get the difference!
5. We have a dead wasp at our door step for the past 3 days. M really wants to touch it, and I haven't let her saying it might still have a sting in it. We check on it every morning and have noticed that the ants are eating it away slowly, and she is fascinated by that. This morning, the wasp had moved some. I suggested maybe it was the ants doing it. But she suggested it could be the rain and then added, 'Maybe, it is Pavan', the Wind God. I smiled and said, she might be right. Then she continued, 'But he would not touch it, because the wasp could sting him'. To that, I absentmindedly said, it can't happen, as the wasp was dead. She went right for her closing argument, 'Oh then I can touch it. It won't sting me, because it is dead, right?' I was had!
Friday, July 4, 2008
At the risk of sounding pedantic and maybe even trite!
This has been on my mind and as a draft for a while ....
Someone wise I know said to me, and rightly so, that a car should be a vehicle to get you from Point A to Point B, in a comfortable manner, and with minimal effects on the environment. I know 'comfortable' is a relative term but the fact that we drive a vehicle in itself has enough potential for damage to the world around us. You could say necessity is the mother of invention. When does it go from necessity to luxury, I ask? Have we driven ourselves to such an extent that we actually perceive it as 'need' and not 'want'? What examples are we setting for our kids?
Why are we as a community so driven by what we drive? I listened to an audio book by Bill Maher (When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden). The book is though provoking and in fact got me to even pen this! Why is our society so fixated on 'big'? Everybody around me who buys a new car, aims to buy big(ger). Maher says it well, the monsters on the road are called, sports utility vehicles, and ironically they neither transport sports nor utility! And the amount of comfort it offers, it practically is the drivers' second or (more likely) third homes! I read somewhere that sports utes, as they used to be fashionably called, are idling on car rental lots, and that they are offered as 'free upgrades' when you arrive with a smaller car booking. What a monster have we created in the name of need?
One could say I of all the people should be championing the cause for driving large vehicles considering I survived a major auto accident. Yes I was driving a sedan while it happened and I hit a big vehicle. I do not believe a larger vehicle would have done me anything different. I fault my driving more than what I was driving. Better safe than sorry, one could argue. Maybe, but at what expense? OK, my life. More importantly, my family's life. Fair. The same wise one from before :) said to me repeatedly after my mishap, 'That is why they are called accidents, one doesn't plan for it.' Let me say, as a knee jerk reaction we did buy that minivan for the safety aspect it provided. But in hindsight, I should not have reacted that way. The accident has given me perspective. I have made consistent effort to change my ways. I plan my travel better, I map out my drives in my head and on the web and keep alternatives available, I leave earlier by a few minutes, and I try to avoid driving in the dark. The van sits more in the garage and has been designated for 'family travel' instead of 'commute' vehicle. I am happy to let it idle.
We have a lot to change. What we wear, eat, and lifestyle in general. It can be done. Little steps, everyday, I tell my kids. R taught me to always carry a trash bag for when you go for a walk so we can collect any plastic or paper trash on the way (I love R for teaching me this). Recycling is good. The whole family helps out with this. We do need to decrease our dependence on plastic and that has been really difficult. I was thrilled when the local grocery stores offered to recycle plastic grocery bags. That is a start for those who absolutely cannot do without it. Home grown is good. We just picked our first batch of peppers...next time I am going to plant at least so I can get >5 peppers at a time :) I love our local farmer's market in summer time. It is a good 2 mi walk, not to forget the trash we pick up on the way! Farmers offer discounts when we bring our own bag! The usual basics mom and dad harped on growing up, will carry us a long way. Turn lights off if not needed, close the refrigerator door when not using. Our A/C died a week ago, and I am actually trying life without it! It isn't that bad, after you accept it in your head (another one from 'lessons learned'). My f-i-l line dries clothes when they visit us! And I plan to continue that till end of summer.
There is so much we can do. I sincerely believe that we should consider leaving a sane and livable world for the next generation. This has become my work in progress. I 'need' and 'want' to change my ways for the kids. Wish me luck!
Someone wise I know said to me, and rightly so, that a car should be a vehicle to get you from Point A to Point B, in a comfortable manner, and with minimal effects on the environment. I know 'comfortable' is a relative term but the fact that we drive a vehicle in itself has enough potential for damage to the world around us. You could say necessity is the mother of invention. When does it go from necessity to luxury, I ask? Have we driven ourselves to such an extent that we actually perceive it as 'need' and not 'want'? What examples are we setting for our kids?
Why are we as a community so driven by what we drive? I listened to an audio book by Bill Maher (When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden). The book is though provoking and in fact got me to even pen this! Why is our society so fixated on 'big'? Everybody around me who buys a new car, aims to buy big(ger). Maher says it well, the monsters on the road are called, sports utility vehicles, and ironically they neither transport sports nor utility! And the amount of comfort it offers, it practically is the drivers' second or (more likely) third homes! I read somewhere that sports utes, as they used to be fashionably called, are idling on car rental lots, and that they are offered as 'free upgrades' when you arrive with a smaller car booking. What a monster have we created in the name of need?
One could say I of all the people should be championing the cause for driving large vehicles considering I survived a major auto accident. Yes I was driving a sedan while it happened and I hit a big vehicle. I do not believe a larger vehicle would have done me anything different. I fault my driving more than what I was driving. Better safe than sorry, one could argue. Maybe, but at what expense? OK, my life. More importantly, my family's life. Fair. The same wise one from before :) said to me repeatedly after my mishap, 'That is why they are called accidents, one doesn't plan for it.' Let me say, as a knee jerk reaction we did buy that minivan for the safety aspect it provided. But in hindsight, I should not have reacted that way. The accident has given me perspective. I have made consistent effort to change my ways. I plan my travel better, I map out my drives in my head and on the web and keep alternatives available, I leave earlier by a few minutes, and I try to avoid driving in the dark. The van sits more in the garage and has been designated for 'family travel' instead of 'commute' vehicle. I am happy to let it idle.
We have a lot to change. What we wear, eat, and lifestyle in general. It can be done. Little steps, everyday, I tell my kids. R taught me to always carry a trash bag for when you go for a walk so we can collect any plastic or paper trash on the way (I love R for teaching me this). Recycling is good. The whole family helps out with this. We do need to decrease our dependence on plastic and that has been really difficult. I was thrilled when the local grocery stores offered to recycle plastic grocery bags. That is a start for those who absolutely cannot do without it. Home grown is good. We just picked our first batch of peppers...next time I am going to plant at least so I can get >5 peppers at a time :) I love our local farmer's market in summer time. It is a good 2 mi walk, not to forget the trash we pick up on the way! Farmers offer discounts when we bring our own bag! The usual basics mom and dad harped on growing up, will carry us a long way. Turn lights off if not needed, close the refrigerator door when not using. Our A/C died a week ago, and I am actually trying life without it! It isn't that bad, after you accept it in your head (another one from 'lessons learned'). My f-i-l line dries clothes when they visit us! And I plan to continue that till end of summer.
There is so much we can do. I sincerely believe that we should consider leaving a sane and livable world for the next generation. This has become my work in progress. I 'need' and 'want' to change my ways for the kids. Wish me luck!
Friday, June 27, 2008
I saw this on Snail's Tales...
Meme-ology
TECHNOLOGY
Q: What is your wallpaper on your computer?
From our last hike.
Q: How many televisions do you have in your house?
Two. Left to me, none!
BIOLOGY
Q: Are you right handed or left handed?
Right.
Q: Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
At least six teeth, and an ectopic.
Q: What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My in-laws' luggage.
Q: Have you ever been knocked out?
Anesthetic, yes.
BULLSHITOLOGY
Q: If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No. What's the point of living?
Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
No way. It is unique enough that I even got no messages of 'has been previously used...' while naming this site!
Q: What color do you think looks best on you?
I think green. But I am told I am way off, and that it should be brown.
Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
I have swallowed flying mosquitoes on many a summer night in India, but I am sure they are considered 'food' in some parts of the world!
DAREOLOGY
Q: Would you kiss a member of the same sex for 100 dollars?
Sure why not?
Q: Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for 200,000$?
No thank you, not even if it were a sixth (a-l-a Hrithik Roshan)!
Q: Would you never blog again for 50,000$?
No.
Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for 1,000$?
Nope.
Q: Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for a million dollars?
Why human, I wouldn't even touch an animal. Absolutely no.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
Don't have one today.
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
My movie trivia is pathetic...ask Ravi K :-)
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Both. Though I would prefer hardwood everywhere.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
We have what is called a 'standing' shower.
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Four, if you count the ones I 'allow' myself to borrow from junior. Thank God she got the big feet genes from me :-)
LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who texted you?
I don't text, but I did get one from Rahul, as he was boarding the plane in SFO in March to remind me to be at the other end for pick up.
Q: Last person who called you?
My sis, checking if I was doing ok.
Q: Last person you hugged?
My kids.
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
Don't believe in such.
Q: Season?
Definitely Spring when my daffodils, crocuses and lilies are in bloom :)
Q: Color?
Greens, Oranges, Yellows...and as Krishna teases me, my absolute fave is 'rust'
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
R :(
Q: Mood?
Contented.
Q: Listening to?
My keyboard... I type very loudly.
Q: Worrying about?
My baby's day in camp.
Q: Wearing?
Beige pants and a black shirt. GOK I need a new wardrobe!
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
The backyard, to check if the lotuses are happy with the 90 degree days, so they can bloom soon.
Q: What can you not wait to do?
Pick the tomatoes.
Q: Do you smile often?
I think so yes, though the genetic component I got from the dad's side is down-turned lips :(
Q: Are you a friendly person?
I think so, yes.
TECHNOLOGY
Q: What is your wallpaper on your computer?
From our last hike.
Q: How many televisions do you have in your house?
Two. Left to me, none!
BIOLOGY
Q: Are you right handed or left handed?
Right.
Q: Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
At least six teeth, and an ectopic.
Q: What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My in-laws' luggage.
Q: Have you ever been knocked out?
Anesthetic, yes.
BULLSHITOLOGY
Q: If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No. What's the point of living?
Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
No way. It is unique enough that I even got no messages of 'has been previously used...' while naming this site!
Q: What color do you think looks best on you?
I think green. But I am told I am way off, and that it should be brown.
Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
I have swallowed flying mosquitoes on many a summer night in India, but I am sure they are considered 'food' in some parts of the world!
DAREOLOGY
Q: Would you kiss a member of the same sex for 100 dollars?
Sure why not?
Q: Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for 200,000$?
No thank you, not even if it were a sixth (a-l-a Hrithik Roshan)!
Q: Would you never blog again for 50,000$?
No.
Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for 1,000$?
Nope.
Q: Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for a million dollars?
Why human, I wouldn't even touch an animal. Absolutely no.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
Don't have one today.
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
My movie trivia is pathetic...ask Ravi K :-)
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Both. Though I would prefer hardwood everywhere.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
We have what is called a 'standing' shower.
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Four, if you count the ones I 'allow' myself to borrow from junior. Thank God she got the big feet genes from me :-)
LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who texted you?
I don't text, but I did get one from Rahul, as he was boarding the plane in SFO in March to remind me to be at the other end for pick up.
Q: Last person who called you?
My sis, checking if I was doing ok.
Q: Last person you hugged?
My kids.
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
Don't believe in such.
Q: Season?
Definitely Spring when my daffodils, crocuses and lilies are in bloom :)
Q: Color?
Greens, Oranges, Yellows...and as Krishna teases me, my absolute fave is 'rust'
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
R :(
Q: Mood?
Contented.
Q: Listening to?
My keyboard... I type very loudly.
Q: Worrying about?
My baby's day in camp.
Q: Wearing?
Beige pants and a black shirt. GOK I need a new wardrobe!
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
The backyard, to check if the lotuses are happy with the 90 degree days, so they can bloom soon.
Q: What can you not wait to do?
Pick the tomatoes.
Q: Do you smile often?
I think so yes, though the genetic component I got from the dad's side is down-turned lips :(
Q: Are you a friendly person?
I think so, yes.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Audio Books .... I hear ya :)
When I was growing up, I read a lot of books like everyone else. The usual suspects ... Enid Blyton, Carolyn Keene (Nancy Drew), Franklin W. Dixon (Hardy Boys), Jack Higgins, Alistair Maclean, Oliver Strange (Sudden), Louis L'amor, PGW, Arthur Hailey, Robin Cook, ..... you get the picture. I grew up in Jayanagar, Bangalore, and we often visited the City Central Library (CCL), a government sponsored site where the limit for borrowing was two books per person with a due date of 1 week. The pickings were few and far apart but we managed to get everything under the sun from there. Membership to privately owned libraries was not easily affordable and even they had very strict rules and steep fines. So after a while, I think I just stopped reading :(
I rediscovered my penchant for reading when I found a local public library by where I went to grad school in the US. There was no upper limit to the number of books I could borrow and the options were oh so many! It was heaven on earth! So I spent my early months of loneliness with my dear old friends, books! That was before grad school took up my life and that put an end to 'light' reading.
I met R a year into grad school. R was the first person I found who could read a book a gazillion times and still enjoy it like it was the first time. Of course R believes to this day that I only 'acted' like I read and it might have even been to ensnare him more than anything else :) This is not true. I have over time realized that reading a book for me is for 'when' I am relaxed with nothing on my plate/mind, rather than 'to' relax and escape from reality. It has taken me many many years to get to this 'guiltless' state of mind.
Reading till recently was maybe a few books a year, finishing them at snail's pace. To a point, that I would have forgotten the beginning by the time I got to the end :( I never found the right time, book, author, medium to escape like R or some of my other friends could do. It was at such a time I per chance discovered books on CDs, long after its invention. This has replaced NPR on the radio and Carnatic music on the CD player. Commute times are all of a sudden so ... rewarding. (this again, is a sentiment I am sure book-lovers I know will scorn at :)) So yet again, I went back to reading. Thanks to CD-books even my book-worm friends acknowledge that I have suddenly become a prolific reader!
In this past year I have listened to quite a few books and genres. I have realized that the most enjoyable ones are when I listen to the book by the author him/herself. Here are a few books I recommend you listen to, if ever you want to try out this option, in no particular order.
Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseni
The Hungry Tide - Amitav Ghosh
Infidel - Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Holy Cow - Sarah Macdonald
A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseni
Living History - Hillary Clinton
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
Castle in the Forest - Norman Mailer
Places in Between - Rory Stewart (I'm still listening to this one)
I want to say I could now easily afford a membership in a private library, if there was one such, but my county public library more than makes up for everything I have missed in all these years. It is the best thing that has happened to me and my book loving family, audio or print!
I rediscovered my penchant for reading when I found a local public library by where I went to grad school in the US. There was no upper limit to the number of books I could borrow and the options were oh so many! It was heaven on earth! So I spent my early months of loneliness with my dear old friends, books! That was before grad school took up my life and that put an end to 'light' reading.
I met R a year into grad school. R was the first person I found who could read a book a gazillion times and still enjoy it like it was the first time. Of course R believes to this day that I only 'acted' like I read and it might have even been to ensnare him more than anything else :) This is not true. I have over time realized that reading a book for me is for 'when' I am relaxed with nothing on my plate/mind, rather than 'to' relax and escape from reality. It has taken me many many years to get to this 'guiltless' state of mind.
Reading till recently was maybe a few books a year, finishing them at snail's pace. To a point, that I would have forgotten the beginning by the time I got to the end :( I never found the right time, book, author, medium to escape like R or some of my other friends could do. It was at such a time I per chance discovered books on CDs, long after its invention. This has replaced NPR on the radio and Carnatic music on the CD player. Commute times are all of a sudden so ... rewarding. (this again, is a sentiment I am sure book-lovers I know will scorn at :)) So yet again, I went back to reading. Thanks to CD-books even my book-worm friends acknowledge that I have suddenly become a prolific reader!
In this past year I have listened to quite a few books and genres. I have realized that the most enjoyable ones are when I listen to the book by the author him/herself. Here are a few books I recommend you listen to, if ever you want to try out this option, in no particular order.
Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseni
The Hungry Tide - Amitav Ghosh
Infidel - Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Holy Cow - Sarah Macdonald
A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseni
Living History - Hillary Clinton
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
Castle in the Forest - Norman Mailer
Places in Between - Rory Stewart (I'm still listening to this one)
I want to say I could now easily afford a membership in a private library, if there was one such, but my county public library more than makes up for everything I have missed in all these years. It is the best thing that has happened to me and my book loving family, audio or print!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Aaaahh Summer Holidays!
As school is winding down and kids are up and out late in the evenings, I have this sudden blast from the past and that longing for the summer holidays, growing up in Namma good ol' Bengalooru.
Our magic date for school closure was May 10th every year. From May to Jun 22 (another of them magic dates) was pure summer bliss. We woke up late, flew kites, ate thaatinungu (I know I know, all you Tamilians will correct me and say 'Nonghu'), thothaapuri maavinkaai (raw green mango), and my all time fave, muskina jola (roasted corn). I recall one kite flying episode when Akka and I were so good, that unbeknownst to us, we were the envy of some local boys. I still remember getting 'cut' off by them, actually tracking the boys down, and beating them (literally) because I was furious! Raag says he can see that competitive edge in me even now :)
Thanks to our parents, we traveled quite a bit in our childhood. I got to see many places. One time, when we went to Trivandrum, Daddy had made reservations at a hotel in Kovalam. And I remember how we were all quite disappointed with the Keralite breakfast and lunch served. Daddy, like me, defines a good holiday by the quality of food involved (in case it is not obvious by now :)). So at dinner time, he went to the hotel's kitchen and taught the chef to make parathas, and sabji. Finger licking good, and I can still taste it in my mouth! Summer vacations were special times with my family.
Memorable trips included going to my Athai and Athimber's place in Bellary and then Dharwar on our own! She is the creative one on my dad's side. She made all the special foods we liked, taught us new songs and dance, to sow, embroider, garden, decorate, and cook. Athimber was so much fun and would indulge. He had the habit of calling people's names in reverse and he would have me in splits with his jokes. They ranked number one when it came to summer fun.
Most summers we would have visitors from other cities. Sundar or Ajay would come from New Delhi or Ganesh and gang from Secunderabad. We learned how to speak Hindi from our Delhi cousins. Ajay, Akka and I did everything together. He would never leave home as a threesome because he thought it was bad omen. To counter any bad luck that might come our way he would make Akka or me (never him :)) carry a small pebble in our hand. That and I was always asked to walk slightly behind the duo to add weight against any possible 'bad' omen! He would say, 'Theen thigaada Kaam bigada'. I never knew the meaning but would religiously chant the mantra as we went for our walks everyday.
When our cousins from Sec'bad came, the activity level at home would reach an all-time high. They were three and we were four, so it was a riot from morning till night. We would put up plays for the elders, who forced a smile through it all, mocked at everything and everyone, go on adventures in the local parks, sleep communally on the floor in the hall and giggle into the nights; really the sky was the limit. Too many stories jump at me as I type here. Everyone of them still sounding funny. We recently recounted the time we went to visit an Aunt and ended up spending all our bus money on marshmallows, and had to borrow from our Aunt's maid, for the ride back home. Did we get a hearing or what!
Summer holiday memories are the best. Here's wishing all you kids who have had a tough school year to kick back, enjoy and have a blast. You deserve it!
Our magic date for school closure was May 10th every year. From May to Jun 22 (another of them magic dates) was pure summer bliss. We woke up late, flew kites, ate thaatinungu (I know I know, all you Tamilians will correct me and say 'Nonghu'), thothaapuri maavinkaai (raw green mango), and my all time fave, muskina jola (roasted corn). I recall one kite flying episode when Akka and I were so good, that unbeknownst to us, we were the envy of some local boys. I still remember getting 'cut' off by them, actually tracking the boys down, and beating them (literally) because I was furious! Raag says he can see that competitive edge in me even now :)
Thanks to our parents, we traveled quite a bit in our childhood. I got to see many places. One time, when we went to Trivandrum, Daddy had made reservations at a hotel in Kovalam. And I remember how we were all quite disappointed with the Keralite breakfast and lunch served. Daddy, like me, defines a good holiday by the quality of food involved (in case it is not obvious by now :)). So at dinner time, he went to the hotel's kitchen and taught the chef to make parathas, and sabji. Finger licking good, and I can still taste it in my mouth! Summer vacations were special times with my family.
Memorable trips included going to my Athai and Athimber's place in Bellary and then Dharwar on our own! She is the creative one on my dad's side. She made all the special foods we liked, taught us new songs and dance, to sow, embroider, garden, decorate, and cook. Athimber was so much fun and would indulge. He had the habit of calling people's names in reverse and he would have me in splits with his jokes. They ranked number one when it came to summer fun.
Most summers we would have visitors from other cities. Sundar or Ajay would come from New Delhi or Ganesh and gang from Secunderabad. We learned how to speak Hindi from our Delhi cousins. Ajay, Akka and I did everything together. He would never leave home as a threesome because he thought it was bad omen. To counter any bad luck that might come our way he would make Akka or me (never him :)) carry a small pebble in our hand. That and I was always asked to walk slightly behind the duo to add weight against any possible 'bad' omen! He would say, 'Theen thigaada Kaam bigada'. I never knew the meaning but would religiously chant the mantra as we went for our walks everyday.
When our cousins from Sec'bad came, the activity level at home would reach an all-time high. They were three and we were four, so it was a riot from morning till night. We would put up plays for the elders, who forced a smile through it all, mocked at everything and everyone, go on adventures in the local parks, sleep communally on the floor in the hall and giggle into the nights; really the sky was the limit. Too many stories jump at me as I type here. Everyone of them still sounding funny. We recently recounted the time we went to visit an Aunt and ended up spending all our bus money on marshmallows, and had to borrow from our Aunt's maid, for the ride back home. Did we get a hearing or what!
Summer holiday memories are the best. Here's wishing all you kids who have had a tough school year to kick back, enjoy and have a blast. You deserve it!
Friday, May 9, 2008
More Mana-isms
1. Weekend morning breakfast with M entails feeding her 8 oz of milk and if I am lucky, a fruit. The routine from waking her up to finishing the breakfast expends my energies completely and I dread the thoughts of having to do this all over again for lunch and dinner (I have realized btw, that this is one reason why I keep a job outside the house, the frustration that I cannot be that mom who can accomplish so much with her kids and home, and look so good, drives me out of my house! I am better off paying someone who is more qualified to do it! My way of helping the American economy :-))
Anyway back to breakfast time and M. So we fight on the milk, she gets through about three-fourths of the way and refuses to open her mouth for anymore. She has made up her mind that it will be it. I give up and after about 15 min get the banana out to at least make head way with that part of breakfast. There is no chance in hell this kid has any plans of complying. I realize it is a losing battle and attempt to bribe her with 'I will take you to the grocery store if you eat your fruit'. She still flat out refuses. So I give her the ultimatum that she can think about her options, fruit and store or stay home with the in-laws. I tell her to think about it and walk away. She comes to me in 2 min flat and says 'I will finish the remaining milk, will you take me to the store?' I am flabbergast at this 3 year old's deal making abilities! I actually lost this battle as I was willing to get at least one thing into her :(
2. We are getting ready for bed and M says she is itchy all over her body. So I advise her that it is because of the weather. Being winter, dry skin is common, I say to her and get her to move on with bedtime to avoid another distraction. She processes it for a fraction of a second and asks, 'So will my skin become wet in summer?'
3. Dinnertime, M chose to eat Mac n cheese, Mackena as she calls it. She had finished about 2/3rds of it when I could see her reaching saturation and so the disinterest in the food. So I tried to tempt her to finish by throwing the bait of Orange Soda as a treat. But my requirement was that she ate 'One Mackena - one soda -one Mackena'...you get the drift. Her response to it was 'No no no, I will eat One soda-one soda-one soda-one soda....' I kid you not, she repeated it about twenty times so I get the picture :)
4. M was sitting on the chair, which had a rounded back and eating her water melon, with the plate on her lap. She decided to place her plate on top of the chair, on its rim. So I told her that it won't work as it is not flat. Her response 'So does it tippy toe too?' A bit of a backgound , M is a tippytoer and her grand mother constantly reminds her to walk 'Flat Flat' :)
5. We were at D's friend's place the other day. In a conversation the girl called out loudly to her mom, Maa. And M says to her, 'li-ni, that is how you say my name'; thinking the girl was addressing her and was having problems saying her name :)
Anyway back to breakfast time and M. So we fight on the milk, she gets through about three-fourths of the way and refuses to open her mouth for anymore. She has made up her mind that it will be it. I give up and after about 15 min get the banana out to at least make head way with that part of breakfast. There is no chance in hell this kid has any plans of complying. I realize it is a losing battle and attempt to bribe her with 'I will take you to the grocery store if you eat your fruit'. She still flat out refuses. So I give her the ultimatum that she can think about her options, fruit and store or stay home with the in-laws. I tell her to think about it and walk away. She comes to me in 2 min flat and says 'I will finish the remaining milk, will you take me to the store?' I am flabbergast at this 3 year old's deal making abilities! I actually lost this battle as I was willing to get at least one thing into her :(
2. We are getting ready for bed and M says she is itchy all over her body. So I advise her that it is because of the weather. Being winter, dry skin is common, I say to her and get her to move on with bedtime to avoid another distraction. She processes it for a fraction of a second and asks, 'So will my skin become wet in summer?'
3. Dinnertime, M chose to eat Mac n cheese, Mackena as she calls it. She had finished about 2/3rds of it when I could see her reaching saturation and so the disinterest in the food. So I tried to tempt her to finish by throwing the bait of Orange Soda as a treat. But my requirement was that she ate 'One Mackena - one soda -one Mackena'...you get the drift. Her response to it was 'No no no, I will eat One soda-one soda-one soda-one soda....' I kid you not, she repeated it about twenty times so I get the picture :)
4. M was sitting on the chair, which had a rounded back and eating her water melon, with the plate on her lap. She decided to place her plate on top of the chair, on its rim. So I told her that it won't work as it is not flat. Her response 'So does it tippy toe too?' A bit of a backgound , M is a tippytoer and her grand mother constantly reminds her to walk 'Flat Flat' :)
5. We were at D's friend's place the other day. In a conversation the girl called out loudly to her mom, Maa. And M says to her, 'li-ni, that is how you say my name'; thinking the girl was addressing her and was having problems saying her name :)
Friends
Recently, I got a very nice letter from our good friend's dad who was visiting the US and to help his son out in a cross country move to our area. I was thanked by Uncle for being a good friend to his son. Uncle, this brought to mind all the good friends I have had in my life.
My earliest memories of a friend is Radhika. These were my early teen years. She was a couple years older than me and emotionally the stronger one of us. We bonded so well. Our common love included cricket, and Linda Goodman. True, we liked the players more than the game :) But it did help us learn about the game too! We analyzed our sun signs and the cricketers', to death. The one thing I recall is her being so responsible. I was so proud of her when she met someone and stood ground with her decision to marry him. It was just like her, to take control, be responsible and confident. We were good friends much after we moved on with our different lives. They are happy memories. I learned to be self reliant from her.
Speaking about cricket brings to mind another best friend, Dinu. He was one of the budding players on the street that Radhika and I would watch and talk to. He was the quiet kind. The other cricketers included his brother Anil, and the other neighbors, Seeni, Dasa, Kumbi. I became close friends with Dinu especially. I feel that I took more than gave to this friendship, in hindsight. But he never seemed to mind. I still keep in touch with him, and he, to this day reminds me of how he was back when I first met him. Sweet, shy, quiet and 'I am here for you' kind of friend. Thank you for the good memories of a good friend, and to have shown me how to 'give' in a friendship.
My best memories of a childhood friendship are of CB. I owe her so much in my life. She had a way of describing things, of making me laugh till I cried, and of analyzing things to death. She along with her parents (who I sometimes used to feel must've been my own in some previous birth) loved me like no other family had until then. Our days in undergrad, are the best in my memory. We laughed at everything, everybody and everywhere. We made fun of every person around us, and there are times I recall, when I would be on the street, buckling down with laughter, as I held on to my book bag, when passers-by, would look at us like we had just lost it! It would be some silly thing, like mimicking a teacher from class that day, or someone on the bus who asked for a seat in a funny English (ya right, like we spoke the Queen's English!). Juvenile, maybe in hindsight, but absolutely funny at that time and place! I wanted to be like her. So happy and so confident of what she wanted in life. She was the one who convinced me to take my GREs and go to graduate school. She wanted to be a Chemist like her dad, and I wanted to be like her! A lot has happened in our lives since then but we still keep in touch. CB and her family taught me how to laugh, to have a goal and to take charge when I needed it most.
MSc gave me Nagamani, Sanjay, Mahesh and Melwin. I had never heard laughter like Nagamani's before. It was always so full of life and from deep within. We hit it off like a house on fire. The best memories include singing 'Nowhere Man' with Nagamani and CB, in the Organic Chem lab, the 3 by 5 coffees with the guys, the masala dosas on Residency Road, making fun of our Quantum Mechanics teacher, or for that matter any teacher; they were all good times. Sanjay taught me to be precise in my work, Nagamani taught me how to juggle responsibilities, Melwin taught me how to be punctual, Mahesh taught me kindness. I may not have realized then how much I needed these lessons in life, but I am glad I was there.
Grad school was the beginning of many lasting friendships. Raag was first an acquaintance, then a friend, and now my husband and rock. I owe a lot of good things that have happened to me, to this rock of mine. He has been there with me through thick and thin, and after 15 years of marriage, I can proudly say, he is my bestest friend :) I cherish the flourish of this friendship.
Grad school would never have been the same without the support of my closest friends, KRR, RK, UMR and the gang and I made sure to acknowledge it in my thesis too! With these friendships came more in the form of marriage, and job moves. The list is too loooonnnng! What all these friends have done for me and my family, I cannot quantify or put down in one blog. They long ago went from being friends, to 'extended family'. Life without them is hard to even imagine. They have been the friends indeed when we needed them the most.
School, work and life as a whole has brought me close to so many people who I consider as very good friends. And god knows I have needed them more than they, me.
So, Uncle, when you wrote to me that I was a friend indeed for a friend in need, I said to myself that I am glad I am able to do what so many friends have done for me when I was that friend in 'need'.
My earliest memories of a friend is Radhika. These were my early teen years. She was a couple years older than me and emotionally the stronger one of us. We bonded so well. Our common love included cricket, and Linda Goodman. True, we liked the players more than the game :) But it did help us learn about the game too! We analyzed our sun signs and the cricketers', to death. The one thing I recall is her being so responsible. I was so proud of her when she met someone and stood ground with her decision to marry him. It was just like her, to take control, be responsible and confident. We were good friends much after we moved on with our different lives. They are happy memories. I learned to be self reliant from her.
Speaking about cricket brings to mind another best friend, Dinu. He was one of the budding players on the street that Radhika and I would watch and talk to. He was the quiet kind. The other cricketers included his brother Anil, and the other neighbors, Seeni, Dasa, Kumbi. I became close friends with Dinu especially. I feel that I took more than gave to this friendship, in hindsight. But he never seemed to mind. I still keep in touch with him, and he, to this day reminds me of how he was back when I first met him. Sweet, shy, quiet and 'I am here for you' kind of friend. Thank you for the good memories of a good friend, and to have shown me how to 'give' in a friendship.
My best memories of a childhood friendship are of CB. I owe her so much in my life. She had a way of describing things, of making me laugh till I cried, and of analyzing things to death. She along with her parents (who I sometimes used to feel must've been my own in some previous birth) loved me like no other family had until then. Our days in undergrad, are the best in my memory. We laughed at everything, everybody and everywhere. We made fun of every person around us, and there are times I recall, when I would be on the street, buckling down with laughter, as I held on to my book bag, when passers-by, would look at us like we had just lost it! It would be some silly thing, like mimicking a teacher from class that day, or someone on the bus who asked for a seat in a funny English (ya right, like we spoke the Queen's English!). Juvenile, maybe in hindsight, but absolutely funny at that time and place! I wanted to be like her. So happy and so confident of what she wanted in life. She was the one who convinced me to take my GREs and go to graduate school. She wanted to be a Chemist like her dad, and I wanted to be like her! A lot has happened in our lives since then but we still keep in touch. CB and her family taught me how to laugh, to have a goal and to take charge when I needed it most.
MSc gave me Nagamani, Sanjay, Mahesh and Melwin. I had never heard laughter like Nagamani's before. It was always so full of life and from deep within. We hit it off like a house on fire. The best memories include singing 'Nowhere Man' with Nagamani and CB, in the Organic Chem lab, the 3 by 5 coffees with the guys, the masala dosas on Residency Road, making fun of our Quantum Mechanics teacher, or for that matter any teacher; they were all good times. Sanjay taught me to be precise in my work, Nagamani taught me how to juggle responsibilities, Melwin taught me how to be punctual, Mahesh taught me kindness. I may not have realized then how much I needed these lessons in life, but I am glad I was there.
Grad school was the beginning of many lasting friendships. Raag was first an acquaintance, then a friend, and now my husband and rock. I owe a lot of good things that have happened to me, to this rock of mine. He has been there with me through thick and thin, and after 15 years of marriage, I can proudly say, he is my bestest friend :) I cherish the flourish of this friendship.
Grad school would never have been the same without the support of my closest friends, KRR, RK, UMR and the gang and I made sure to acknowledge it in my thesis too! With these friendships came more in the form of marriage, and job moves. The list is too loooonnnng! What all these friends have done for me and my family, I cannot quantify or put down in one blog. They long ago went from being friends, to 'extended family'. Life without them is hard to even imagine. They have been the friends indeed when we needed them the most.
School, work and life as a whole has brought me close to so many people who I consider as very good friends. And god knows I have needed them more than they, me.
So, Uncle, when you wrote to me that I was a friend indeed for a friend in need, I said to myself that I am glad I am able to do what so many friends have done for me when I was that friend in 'need'.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Parenting
I am a parent, and a proud one at that. But friends of mine simply believe that my husband and I are not capable of being proud parents. It is in our genes they say, and I must add, the grand parents are like us to a large extent. So it may well be a big genetic component that is in play here.
Let me first write about what makes me proud of my offspring before I get into the 'what can be improved'...
1. Resilience: This is something I need to learn from her. So strong and such a come-backer. She is phenomenal in the way she has learned from the accident.
2. Commitment: Be it to a friend or teacher's expectations, can't even think of one complaint. Very very committed. She is really a 'there for you' kind of person, not in a Seinfeld way!
3. Focused: I cannot peel her from a book or TV show :-) I wish I had that kind of focus in anything!
Having written this, I will wait to put the 'what needs to be improved' list. There is a lot of time in life to work on it :)
Let me first write about what makes me proud of my offspring before I get into the 'what can be improved'...
1. Resilience: This is something I need to learn from her. So strong and such a come-backer. She is phenomenal in the way she has learned from the accident.
2. Commitment: Be it to a friend or teacher's expectations, can't even think of one complaint. Very very committed. She is really a 'there for you' kind of person, not in a Seinfeld way!
3. Focused: I cannot peel her from a book or TV show :-) I wish I had that kind of focus in anything!
Having written this, I will wait to put the 'what needs to be improved' list. There is a lot of time in life to work on it :)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Feeling Low...
The mood should be all but low... but I feel blue to my bones.... and I think I have analyzed the whys....
I always told myself that I would never feel the absence of a mom in my life because I never knew what it was to have one :( But the blue feeling is suddenly stemming from exactly the absence of that emotion! I know this too shall pass...and I will get over it. But had to jot it down some place.
I always told myself that I would never feel the absence of a mom in my life because I never knew what it was to have one :( But the blue feeling is suddenly stemming from exactly the absence of that emotion! I know this too shall pass...and I will get over it. But had to jot it down some place.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
How do I say thank you?
I come from a broken family. Broken not in the terms of how we use it in current day America. Broken as in, I was born half hour before my mother passed away. So I have never had a biological mom. But the family I was born into made every effort to make up for her absence. The immediate family at the time of my birth consisted of my sister, our grieving dad, his young and unmarried brothers (D and K) and their aging parents. Sadly, I never really connected with my father. If he were alive now, I would have asked him how painful it must have been for him to see the absence of his wife in his life every time he saw me. I would have made it up to him. It is not easy to accept loss of a partner no matter how old you are. Speaking of loss we only had the benefit of having him till I was 10 and then we lost him too. But I learned like all resilient kids to adapt to the situation. It was made easy by the family I was in. Never did my Uncles shirk their 'assumed' responsibilities of having to take care of this new addition, in their lives. And to think their resume did not have any experience in such matters! They told me stories as I grew up, of how they learned on the job, from making milk bottles to juggling their careers with this growing responsibility at home. They even hired a live-in nanny! Isn't this the story of all us working parents? They figured it out 40 some years ago and were not even married! In fact my Uncle D, never did marry and somehow made himself my self-appointed guardian angel through out my childhood. I lost him too a few years back and I regret not having been by his side when he needed me most. But, really, how does one say thank you to this gigantic effort? I do it every waking moment of my life. A silent prayer to God for giving me this strong family, who taught me how to live life as they themselves were struggling to figure the path out. They gave me the moral support when I needed it, the ability to appreciate life in the face of adversities and the freedom to dream. Thank you my two dads!
When I was 4, we added to our family. This time it came in the form of my adopted mother. She married my Uncle K knowing very well of the uphill task she had in front of her. Two girls to care for! Speak of experience needed for the job! She did a commendable job as being the center of the family and the rock that we all needed to anchor on. She did everything a mom would do for her child. Cooked for us, cleaned for us, kept us in check with our behavior, taught us to be polite, gave us a sense of belonging, fed us humorous stories from her own childhood to put a smile on days when even waking up was difficult. She had her quirks, but as a child with no comparison to make, I took it as normal. As a mother of two now, I realize what an emotional task it must have been for her as she cared for her adopted kids and her own two children, with having to be fair and equal so that the onlooking society would not sit on their high horse and pass judgment on her abilities. I consider myself lucky for having had her as my guiding light. She showed me how to juggle responsibilities, taught me not complain about the nitty gritties, to keep a clean house and to run it under tight financial constraints. Thank you, Amma, for giving me the perspectives and the security as I discover how difficult life sometimes can be.
I thank my stars for aligning the way they did when I was born and I say it without cynicism. I would not be here in time and space if not for my adopting family. I owe my success, my ability to face failures, and my mere existence to my three parents. As Charlie Brown once said, 'Thank you from the bottom of my sock'! The ability to look back in life and only pick the positives is not easy to do, but that is what helps me look forward too.
When I was 4, we added to our family. This time it came in the form of my adopted mother. She married my Uncle K knowing very well of the uphill task she had in front of her. Two girls to care for! Speak of experience needed for the job! She did a commendable job as being the center of the family and the rock that we all needed to anchor on. She did everything a mom would do for her child. Cooked for us, cleaned for us, kept us in check with our behavior, taught us to be polite, gave us a sense of belonging, fed us humorous stories from her own childhood to put a smile on days when even waking up was difficult. She had her quirks, but as a child with no comparison to make, I took it as normal. As a mother of two now, I realize what an emotional task it must have been for her as she cared for her adopted kids and her own two children, with having to be fair and equal so that the onlooking society would not sit on their high horse and pass judgment on her abilities. I consider myself lucky for having had her as my guiding light. She showed me how to juggle responsibilities, taught me not complain about the nitty gritties, to keep a clean house and to run it under tight financial constraints. Thank you, Amma, for giving me the perspectives and the security as I discover how difficult life sometimes can be.
I thank my stars for aligning the way they did when I was born and I say it without cynicism. I would not be here in time and space if not for my adopting family. I owe my success, my ability to face failures, and my mere existence to my three parents. As Charlie Brown once said, 'Thank you from the bottom of my sock'! The ability to look back in life and only pick the positives is not easy to do, but that is what helps me look forward too.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Migranes!
Why didn't I think of this! The bane of my life!
I just read a NYTimes by Siri Hustevdt about this exact monster.
http://migraine.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/07/arms-at-rest/
She has captured it well and you might relate to if you are a migraine sufferer yourself. Here are my comments that I sent to her.
Siri,
Nice article! Reading through it brought back memories of my own ways of dealing with what I once thought was a monstrosity. I recall migraines ruining my teenage and early adult years. Mine were related to my cycle. I remember so many trips to the neurologists, alternate medicine like homeopathy, even orthodontists, because one doctor suggested it was due to poorly aligned jaw! Its amusing in hindsight :) No medication seemed to help. My theory was that the way the Zomigs and the Midrins 'helped' migraines was by taking the focus to a different part of the body like dizziness and feeling sick to the stomach and inability to drive.
The way I used to pop the pain meds to take the edge off, got my husband really worried and he one day said that this was the wrong way to deal with it, as it was all psychological (not the pain, the thought that the meds would help :)).
I even have older friends and colleagues who have told me menopause won't always take care of it. I have tried omitting foods as an approach, but just the thought of staying off chocolate and nuts, and be happy, as in 'migraine-less' did not seem so appealing a treatment!
Just when I thought I was defeated by this dread of a 'disease' I went back to my roots in Hindu philosophy, which talks about acceptance. Thanks to my husband who said it differently but meant the same thing. I have to say this has to date been my best medicine. I know when an attack is coming, but I don't get anxious; I will slow down but will not stop to 'welcome' it. Three days of hormonal imbalance a month, I can deal with it. The world has worse problems!
I just read a NYTimes by Siri Hustevdt about this exact monster.
http://migraine.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/07/arms-at-rest/
She has captured it well and you might relate to if you are a migraine sufferer yourself. Here are my comments that I sent to her.
Siri,
Nice article! Reading through it brought back memories of my own ways of dealing with what I once thought was a monstrosity. I recall migraines ruining my teenage and early adult years. Mine were related to my cycle. I remember so many trips to the neurologists, alternate medicine like homeopathy, even orthodontists, because one doctor suggested it was due to poorly aligned jaw! Its amusing in hindsight :) No medication seemed to help. My theory was that the way the Zomigs and the Midrins 'helped' migraines was by taking the focus to a different part of the body like dizziness and feeling sick to the stomach and inability to drive.
The way I used to pop the pain meds to take the edge off, got my husband really worried and he one day said that this was the wrong way to deal with it, as it was all psychological (not the pain, the thought that the meds would help :)).
I even have older friends and colleagues who have told me menopause won't always take care of it. I have tried omitting foods as an approach, but just the thought of staying off chocolate and nuts, and be happy, as in 'migraine-less' did not seem so appealing a treatment!
Just when I thought I was defeated by this dread of a 'disease' I went back to my roots in Hindu philosophy, which talks about acceptance. Thanks to my husband who said it differently but meant the same thing. I have to say this has to date been my best medicine. I know when an attack is coming, but I don't get anxious; I will slow down but will not stop to 'welcome' it. Three days of hormonal imbalance a month, I can deal with it. The world has worse problems!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Mana-isms
M is so funny and she cracks us all up with her innocence and quick wit. I told myself that I would jot down anything funny (in my eyes, which as a Mom, everything) she comes up with, so that I can have it as my keepsake of memories, something I did not do with D. I will try to keep this blog as an ongoing log of such happenings.
1. M has been hooked on the DVD, 'Krishna', the animated (I must say rather poorly, but that is for later :)) movie about the life of Lord Krishna. My in-laws, being big devotees of Krishna, have given her a little idol, and named him 'Kamala Kannan'(KK), which she adores like one of her dolls. The routine for the morning in our absence is to bathe KK, sing him a number of songs, all in tune might I add, followed by her own ablutions, and then a Lunch n Learn, where she watches the movie, Krishna. Having done this for a couple weeks now, she knows the story by rote.
One evening, I came home to see her watching the movie intently, as she chose to give me a running commentary. As the episode of Poothana trying to poison Baby Krishna unfolded, she educated me of the characters in play, and told me that Poothana was a Rakshasa and was there to 'kill' Krishna, at the order of Kamsa (a bad king), but Poothana could not because Krishna was God and nobody could harm him. Obviously this initial narration having come from my m-i-l, I looked at Amma in alarm and asked her why she had given her the gory details to the story. Amma, said she could not think of any other words to explain Poothana's evilness and told me not to sweat on the details anymore than what was told to M. We left it at that.
Fast forward to bedtime a couple nights after, where our ritual to put M to bed includes reading her at least half a dozen books before we turn the lights out. Book reading is followed narration of at least one story by either party (M, to dad or self). This time she chose to tell me a story, and of course, who would have thought, it was Krishna Story...again :( Fast forward yet again to the Poothana episode. M in her animated best, explained to me that Poothana, the Rakshasa, was in Gokul with the sole intention to 'kill' Krishna. And did she get me roaring with laughter when she actually pinched me to make the action of 'kill'. To 'killu' is to 'pinch' in Tamil, and our dear three year old had understood just that as the reason for Poothana the demoness's presence! So much for my chagrin of what she was exposed to at such a tender age, and even so was my m-i-l's amusement that her grandkid understood an English language completely different from what she was told :-)
Thank God for little kids and their innocence ... may she stay 3 for many more such episodes, is what my inner-mom cries for!
1. M has been hooked on the DVD, 'Krishna', the animated (I must say rather poorly, but that is for later :)) movie about the life of Lord Krishna. My in-laws, being big devotees of Krishna, have given her a little idol, and named him 'Kamala Kannan'(KK), which she adores like one of her dolls. The routine for the morning in our absence is to bathe KK, sing him a number of songs, all in tune might I add, followed by her own ablutions, and then a Lunch n Learn, where she watches the movie, Krishna. Having done this for a couple weeks now, she knows the story by rote.
One evening, I came home to see her watching the movie intently, as she chose to give me a running commentary. As the episode of Poothana trying to poison Baby Krishna unfolded, she educated me of the characters in play, and told me that Poothana was a Rakshasa and was there to 'kill' Krishna, at the order of Kamsa (a bad king), but Poothana could not because Krishna was God and nobody could harm him. Obviously this initial narration having come from my m-i-l, I looked at Amma in alarm and asked her why she had given her the gory details to the story. Amma, said she could not think of any other words to explain Poothana's evilness and told me not to sweat on the details anymore than what was told to M. We left it at that.
Fast forward to bedtime a couple nights after, where our ritual to put M to bed includes reading her at least half a dozen books before we turn the lights out. Book reading is followed narration of at least one story by either party (M, to dad or self). This time she chose to tell me a story, and of course, who would have thought, it was Krishna Story...again :( Fast forward yet again to the Poothana episode. M in her animated best, explained to me that Poothana, the Rakshasa, was in Gokul with the sole intention to 'kill' Krishna. And did she get me roaring with laughter when she actually pinched me to make the action of 'kill'. To 'killu' is to 'pinch' in Tamil, and our dear three year old had understood just that as the reason for Poothana the demoness's presence! So much for my chagrin of what she was exposed to at such a tender age, and even so was my m-i-l's amusement that her grandkid understood an English language completely different from what she was told :-)
Thank God for little kids and their innocence ... may she stay 3 for many more such episodes, is what my inner-mom cries for!
Friday, January 4, 2008
Gifting Etiquette
R suggested I write about this and so here I am.
About a month ago, we finalized my in-laws' trip to visit us. This meant we had to let our dear nanny go after she helped take care of our little one for almost three years. Yes all good things have to come to an end, and R and I wanted to give her something fitting as a token of our appreciation. We decided that since the in-laws were coming over anyway an apt gift would be something from the homeland. Now that we are responsible adults, we do have to set budgets for even tokens of appreciations, and so we decided on a good number to aim for. We thought a combination of sari and/or jewelry would give the personal touch while at the same time last her a lifetime. Having made the decision (I must say, it is not always so unanimous between R and I), I picked up the phone to make the request of my in-laws.
Let me take a moment to describe my in-laws here. They are the most caring, loving and ruled-by-logic kind of couple I have seen of their generation. Being parent-less myself, I have in these 15 years of my marriage, developed a sincere endearment for my in-laws and I must say I am treated as their own daughter at any point in our relationship. So I am allowed the liberties that in my acquaintances, few daughters-in-law have, and to that I am forever grateful. So the blog here is a snippet of such a liberty :-)
Going back to my narration about the nanny, gift, in-laws.....
The initial reaction when I mentioned about this interest of ours, was a heartwarming agreement from their side as well. Then came the budget issue, when they listened to the amount we had decided. A pregnant pause followed after which my m-i-l suggested in her gentle cajoling/reasoning way that there are many choices available for much less. I was told, just as a parent would advise their daughter that the token is important and not the amount that we budget towards it. But I failed to flip the same argument back at my in-laws in trying to explain the same thing, i. e., it is hard to put an amount to such good efforts by the nanny who we thought went ways and means beyond what we had set as our expectations towards care giving of our children. So we finally left the matter by sticking to our guns and decided to delegate my husband with this as he was going to be in India anyway on official capacity.
MISTAKE # 2! I say this because, even though R meant well and agreed to the cost evaluation (or the inability to do so) of the nanny's efforts, we are still talking R here. Give him an idea, a budget, and he will run (like Forrest Gump) towards the goalpost with little distraction. Well, R did get the gifts for the nanny (check), did stay at or above :) budget (check again) but I was (as I am sure R would say, all women) hoping he would have at least have gone to couple departments in at least the same store, to check what fashions might we have to choose from. (We are talking India here, where fashion changes like the winter weather in MI!). But NOOO, he went almost Spock-like (I can so visualize this) asked a worker in the store for where he might find saris in the price range we had thought of, picked his pieces in less than 5 selections that were shown (did I say <5?), and was out the door, checking off his to-do list and actually quite proud about it :-) True we got what w(h)e wanted, nothing extraordinary for the money we spent, but standard fare. In the end he was happy, nanny was (I hope) happy, in-laws too for that matter. But did I learn my lesson (again!)? I think I will do this differently if there is a next time ........
Case in point...
I took this episode to my close friend, P, who is my sounding board for many things in my life. I feel very comfortable in talking to her about anything under the sun and feel like she will give me a perspective to it the way I can digest it. Funnily she had had the same issue, of having to gift her nanny for efforts she says included helping her husband complete biz school with her working full time. She felt that she could not put a dollar amount to the way her nanny had stood by her family. But she dealt with it differently from me. She knew that her parents would react the way my in-laws did. Rather than delegate this to them, she took matters in her own hand and got what she thought was appropriate. And like she ended it, 'Simple, that is how I do things'.
Hmm, and here I thought I was trying to change my ways, esp learning to delegate, sigh :(
About a month ago, we finalized my in-laws' trip to visit us. This meant we had to let our dear nanny go after she helped take care of our little one for almost three years. Yes all good things have to come to an end, and R and I wanted to give her something fitting as a token of our appreciation. We decided that since the in-laws were coming over anyway an apt gift would be something from the homeland. Now that we are responsible adults, we do have to set budgets for even tokens of appreciations, and so we decided on a good number to aim for. We thought a combination of sari and/or jewelry would give the personal touch while at the same time last her a lifetime. Having made the decision (I must say, it is not always so unanimous between R and I), I picked up the phone to make the request of my in-laws.
Let me take a moment to describe my in-laws here. They are the most caring, loving and ruled-by-logic kind of couple I have seen of their generation. Being parent-less myself, I have in these 15 years of my marriage, developed a sincere endearment for my in-laws and I must say I am treated as their own daughter at any point in our relationship. So I am allowed the liberties that in my acquaintances, few daughters-in-law have, and to that I am forever grateful. So the blog here is a snippet of such a liberty :-)
Going back to my narration about the nanny, gift, in-laws.....
The initial reaction when I mentioned about this interest of ours, was a heartwarming agreement from their side as well. Then came the budget issue, when they listened to the amount we had decided. A pregnant pause followed after which my m-i-l suggested in her gentle cajoling/reasoning way that there are many choices available for much less. I was told, just as a parent would advise their daughter that the token is important and not the amount that we budget towards it. But I failed to flip the same argument back at my in-laws in trying to explain the same thing, i. e., it is hard to put an amount to such good efforts by the nanny who we thought went ways and means beyond what we had set as our expectations towards care giving of our children. So we finally left the matter by sticking to our guns and decided to delegate my husband with this as he was going to be in India anyway on official capacity.
MISTAKE # 2! I say this because, even though R meant well and agreed to the cost evaluation (or the inability to do so) of the nanny's efforts, we are still talking R here. Give him an idea, a budget, and he will run (like Forrest Gump) towards the goalpost with little distraction. Well, R did get the gifts for the nanny (check), did stay at or above :) budget (check again) but I was (as I am sure R would say, all women) hoping he would have at least have gone to couple departments in at least the same store, to check what fashions might we have to choose from. (We are talking India here, where fashion changes like the winter weather in MI!). But NOOO, he went almost Spock-like (I can so visualize this) asked a worker in the store for where he might find saris in the price range we had thought of, picked his pieces in less than 5 selections that were shown (did I say <5?), and was out the door, checking off his to-do list and actually quite proud about it :-) True we got what w(h)e wanted, nothing extraordinary for the money we spent, but standard fare. In the end he was happy, nanny was (I hope) happy, in-laws too for that matter. But did I learn my lesson (again!)? I think I will do this differently if there is a next time ........
Case in point...
I took this episode to my close friend, P, who is my sounding board for many things in my life. I feel very comfortable in talking to her about anything under the sun and feel like she will give me a perspective to it the way I can digest it. Funnily she had had the same issue, of having to gift her nanny for efforts she says included helping her husband complete biz school with her working full time. She felt that she could not put a dollar amount to the way her nanny had stood by her family. But she dealt with it differently from me. She knew that her parents would react the way my in-laws did. Rather than delegate this to them, she took matters in her own hand and got what she thought was appropriate. And like she ended it, 'Simple, that is how I do things'.
Hmm, and here I thought I was trying to change my ways, esp learning to delegate, sigh :(
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